from The Book of Wonders
The Story in Pigs is Pigs
"Pigs is Pigs"
Vitagraph Famous Authors' Series by Ellis Parker Butler
You Have Seen Pigs, but Never Such Pigs as These. Two of Them Become Eight Hundred Pigs so Rapidly, They Set Bunny Daffy and Almost Ruin the Express Business.
Director -- George D. Baker
Author -- Ellis Parker Butler
|Flannery, an Express Agent||...||JOHN BUNNY|
|Mr. Morehouse||...||ETIENNE GIRARDOT|
|Clerk in Complaint Dept||...||COURTLAND VAN DEUSEN|
|Head of Claims Dept.||...||WILLIAM SHEA|
|Mr. Morgan, Head of Tariff Dept.||...||ALBERT ROCCARDI|
|President of Company||...||ANDERS RANDOLF|
|Prof. Gordon||...||GEORGE STEVENS|
After a strenuous argument with Flannery, the local Express Agent, Mr. Morehouse refuses to pay the 30¢ charges on each of two guinea pigs shipped him, claiming they are pets and subject to the 25¢ rate. Flannery replies, "Pigs is pigs and I'm blame sure them animals is pigs, not pets, and the rule says, '30¢ each.'"
Mr. Morehouse writes many times to the Express Company, claiming guinea pigs are not common pigs, and each time is referred to a different department. Flannery receives a note from the Tariff Department inquiring as to condition of consignment, to which he replies, "There are eight now! All good eaters. Paid out two dollars for cabbage so far." The matter finally reaches the President, who writes a friend, a Zoological Professor. Unfortunately that gentleman is in South Africa, causing a delay of many months, during which time the pigs increase to 160.
At last word is received from the learned man proving that guinea pigs are not common pigs. Flannery is then ordered to collect 25¢ each for two guinea pigs and deliver the entire lot to consignee. There are now 800 and Flannery is horrified to find Morehouse has moved to parts unknown. He is about to give up in despair when the company orders him to forward the entire collection to the Main Office, to be disposed of as unclaimed property, in accordance with the general rule.