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"Uncle Jass Says" from Judge

by Ellis Parker Butler
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from Judge
Uncle Jass Says
by Ellis Parker Butler

If fish was as wise as men they'd be easier to catch.

Great oaks from little acorns grow, but they don't make such good squirrel food.

You can find anything printed in books except what your wife is thinkin' just afore she goes to sleep.

People don't object to laws near as much as they do to havin' to obey them.

When a feller starts out to smash idols he most generally takes along a couple of his own done up in cotton.

There ain't anything quite so unpleasant as Philadelphia scrapple except bein' so hungry you want to eat it.

The last dollar in a ten-dollar bill is a heap bigger than the first one.

Outside of High Schools some teachers has almost human intelligence.

The best way is to agree with your wife because if you agree hard enough she'll think she's mistaken.


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