from Judge
Uncle Jass Says
by Ellis Parker Butler
I notice nowadays that the more gold there is on the outside of a book the less there's apt to be inside of it.
Every durned minute you sleep some feller is wide awake plannin' to git your money away from you.
About the last thing a man does before he goes bankrupt is to buy a new gold-lettered sign for his store.
If you guv a feller a forty-acre farm and a plow the first thing he'd do would be to look over the place an' wish he had his neighbor's pasture.
Joy cometh in the morning, but most folks think it is the milkman and turn over for another snooze.
Even a lazy man don't ride a bull to pasture more than once or twice.
Everybody has a besettin' sin and some folks' worst one is not havin' any.
If a man went to his wife and laid his soul bare she'd want to search his pockets.
Just because fiction books is cake ain't sayin' some fact books ain't dogfish meat.
One reason we always speak respectful of the dead is to keep folks in the habit until our turn comes.
